Hey, Wal-Mart, your new case-less milk jugs are retarded

Dear Wal-Mart,

Congratulations on your latest successful accomplishment in the dairy retail industry. Assuming, that your goal when redesigning your plastic milk containers was to have me spill milk all over my kitchen counters. Here is their recent press release regarding the change:

Today’s new square or case-less milk jugs do not require crates or racks for shipping and storage. Instead, the newly designed milk gallon is self stacking because the spout is flatter and each gallon can rest on another during transport, as well as while on display. It’s estimated trucks used for shipping from the processor to club can accommodate 9% more milk -- 4,704 gallons per truck or approximately 384 more jugs -- without any metal racks.* In addition, the flat top and wider spout do not come in contact with other equipment during filling reducing the risk of possible contamination.

Your flat spout and wider design make it impossible for the container to catch any of the back flow when I pour out milk. The result is a mess of wasted milk on my table and counters. Let's not forget the part of the release where you really try to sell us on this:

At a time when the impact of food inflation appears on every grocery receipt, the new case-less jug also delivers a cost savings of 10 to 20 cents.

That must be a cost savings that you and the share-holders will see because just from the messes I've cleaned up this morning, I know I've wasted more than 10 to 20 cents worth of my milk. Look, I shop at Wal-Mart, which means I already have a pretty negative position as it is, I don't need to have this sort of crap to deal with on top of it all. Here's some math for you:

You profit at my expense = me shopping for milk somewhere else.

Also, your stores all smell like maple syrup and old people.

Enter your email address:

Subscribe in a reader


kEnny said...

My mom's local Costco has been carrying these craptastical jugs for some time now. I can't believe they are spreading.

Chase Roper said...

ah, so it turns out Wal-Mart didn't create this idea on their own. Well, crap. had I researched more people wouldn't have found out I shop there.