What it is like having 'Chase' for a name

I called in a pizza order the other day to Papa's Murphy's for pick up. The girl on the other line asked me for my name.


"okay," then she told me, "I spelled it C-h-a-s-e."

Why would she be telling me how she spelled my own name. I know how to spell my name. It isn't as if I have a difficult sounding name. She didn't ask my name and I said to her, "Juaqin" or "Philandergrabblejunker." My name is a verb in the dictionary. It's not hard.

And why would it matter if she spelled it wrong anyway?

"I'm here to pick up a bacon chicken ranch pizza I called in."

"Is it for Chase?"

"Well it should be but you just pronounced my name with the wrong spelling. You see my name is Chase, spelled c-h-a-s-e and you just said Chase, spelled c-h-a-i-s. So there's no way that identical order for a name that sounds just like mine phonetically but spelled wrong can be mine."

- - -

It also sucks having a verb for a name in general. It gives unfunny people the inspiration to attempt humor at my expense. As if I'm asking for it with a name like this.

"Hey, I bet you chased all the girls in high school, huh? Heh heh."

Well, yeah.

But  I also raped them. You know?

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