Super Powers

Sometimes people will ask, "If you could have any super power, what would you pick?" You usually hear people who want x-ray vision, or super-strength, or the ability to fly, but that's not what I would pick. I'm a dad and because I'm a dad, I would love to have Cold Breath. Not Ice breath or Freezing breath, just Cold Breath. Like 32 Degrees Breath. That way, when I heat up food in the microwave, it won't take very long to cool it down when I blow on it.

Of course, 32 Degrees Breath wouldn't be very usefull for crimefighting. I would burst into a bank during a robbery and yell, "Freeze!" Then I would blow on the masked gunman who would then yell back some sort of meniacal witty remark like, "Ha! Freeze? More like, SHIVER!" Then I would just shrug my shoulders and go, ". . .yeah." and then I'd go back to making oatmeal in the microwave at home where at least my boys appreciate my super power.

Suggested Reading: Theory and Application of Modern Strength and Power Methods: Modern methods of attaining super-strength

1 comment:

God Of Bacon said...

The ability to cause massive coronaries at a distance could be useful, especially when eating at Michael Vick's restaurant.