When my wife was pregnant, she called and said she'd been having contractions and her doctor wanted her to head to the hospital to be monitored.
You have to register down at triage before heading up to labor and delivery and the lady behind the counter handed us this brochure with soapy hands on the front. She asked us to participate in their hand washing program by asking the nurses and doctors if they have washed their hands before treating us. What!? Can't I just ask them once if they will always wash them, or are they supposed to trick me up sometimes? And is this like Denny's pie program where if they don't offer me pie I get some for free?
"Hey, medical professional who went to school forever and is far more educated than I am, did you wash your hands?"
". . .no."
". . . Here's a free heart."
I like how at my hospitals, the doctors are apparently carrying around hearts in their pockets.