Have you seen that commercial for the psychic text messaging? You text your question to a special psychic hot line and then wait to receive the psychic text message back and solve your problem. What a great idea. Whoever started this has got to be making a killing because you know there isn't even a real psychic sending back text messages. It's probably just some sort of automated response. Man I wish I would have thought of that. Think of how much money I would save on paying dues to the psychic's union.
Remember the Magic 8 ball? That thing could really help you realize true human potential (as long you were only faced with obstacles that you could summarize and re-phrase into yes or no questions.) For a while, I used to consult that thing before doing anything. Which is why to this day, I still blame that thing for letting my rabbit die. Your sources say "no?" Why didn't you just allow me to feed it that week!?
Damn you, Magic 8 Ball!! (fourth exclamation mark!)
And remember when that however-many-sided-thing inside would land right on the edge? Then you would try to shake it until that happened just so you could show your friends and look completely mortified and go, "Oh no! It didn't even give me an answer!" It was like turning up the death card in a Tarot card reading.
Suggested Reading: Inside the Magic 8 Ball: The Complete User's Guide
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