My encounter with an obnoxious fat man
My son's dog broke out of the yard yesterday and I found him in another neighbor's yard around the corner. This neighbor's yard is out of my homeowners association's jurisdiction and as such the yard looks similar to a miniature golf course (but where all the putting greens have been replaced with patches of missing grass and the obstacles replaced with rusty lawn furniture, a toilet and a seat from a car).
Various family members came outside to start yelling at my dog to get out of their yard and the dad starting accusing it of killing one of their pet rabbits. My dog by the way is a 1 year old Yorkshire and not that much bigger than a rabbit himself AND this house isn't fenced so it's possible that the rabbits (who aren't caged and are spotted throughout the block) could have wandered off or been eaten by some other larger animal or even a member of this family. I don't want to say that they're fat or obese or obviously addicted to various foods containing trans-fatty acids, but what I will say, is that when I saw them all exit the house, I thought I had stumbled onto the set of The Biggest Loser. They're all disgustingly huge and could've eaten the rabbit or sat on it and not realized it I guess is the point I'm trying to make. There was a lot of yelling, blaming, swearing and smoking in between sentences and all I wanted was to go in his backyard and get my damn dog.
When the fat slob finally allowed me to enter his property, he followed me around carefully as I tried to get my dog to come to me, as if I was about to steal any of this guy's broken dirty old crap out his yard. I've always wanted a rusted three-wheeled push lawn mower with no handle. Anyways, I got my dog to run back home and I left. If you ask me, this family needs to spend less money on rabbits, birds and food, and more money on shirts that cover their entire stomaches.
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Posted by Chase Roper