its the little things about moms that make you appreciate them (for how nuts they are)

The last time my parents came over for dinner and I was in the kitchen making some coffee with my french press. So I'm explaining to my mom how you just put in some scoops of coffee and then add boiling water. After about 3 minutes you push down the plunger and separate the grounds from the hot water and viola - coffee. She told me the other great thing about my french press is that if the power goes out I'll still be able to make some coffee.

Sure, if I go in the backyard and build a  bon-fire to boil up some water.

My mom had also suffers from a rare made-up allergy that only 4% of all people suffer from. She is actually allergic to her body's own adrenaline. Ever since she told me this in high school I've been dreaming up ways to have my mom discover a baby trapped under a car on her way over to visit me. Not a real baby though, a fake will do.

She thinks her old man land lord is spying on her phone conversations because she noticed over the winter that whenever she was on the phone, he would go out to his wood shed. Of course the only rational explanation isn't that it's January and freezing cold so the old man needs some wood to build a fire, it's because he wants so desperately to listen in on you drone on to my sister incoherently for three hours.